How often have you been at a gathering of people and as you look around you note that everyone seems to be talking and no one seems to be listening? This is not unusual. Listening, with attention, has become a lost art. I have been fortunate during my life as I was basically quite shy and as a result, I grew up more of a listener than a talker. Those roles may have reversed in recent years.
Today's technology does not do a lot to encourage face to face conversations and force people to listen to others. Texting has become the chosen means of communication by many. Not only does texting and tweeting discourage conversation, but it also minimizes any deep thinking and reflection. We have become a nation of shorty, pithy sentences (?) that do not require a lot of effort or concentration. Or provide an opportunity to listen!
During my working days, I was often involved with regular meetings of one kind or another. In any group, there are two kinds of people - those who love to throw in their opinion vocally and those who prefer to sit back and listen. Of course, I fell into the latter group. As Yogi Berra surmised, "You can observe a lot just by watching." I would suggest that similarly, "You can learn a lot just by listening."
Many courses are offered to teach the art of "active listening". The term almost seems like an oxymoron as we generally view listening as a passive activity. However, effective listening requires concentration and a focussed mind. If you are not tuned in, you will often end up daydreaming or your mind will drift off in another direction.
Again, using an example as a former teacher, I always directed my students to look at me as I explained some math or science concept. I could tell by looking at their eyes if they in fact were paying attention or listening to me as I talked. If they weren’t, I stopped talking and they quickly picked up my cue and refocussed their attention. The good news is that it is never too late to become a good listener if you choose!
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