40. A man who can read and doesn't = a man who can't read.

I have always loved reading. In many ways, my entire life has been shaped by my enjoyment of the books I have read. In school we were always required to have a free reading book with us at all times. When we finished our assigned work, you pulled out your free reading book and didn't skip a beat. I don't sense that children have the same expectation placed upon them in schools today. 

I recall the teacher posting a large chart that showed with a coloured star each book that we had read. It was a wonderful motivation but not necessary in my case. In junior high school, we practically fought over the new books when they arrived. I always had a book to read at school and at home. 

The beauty of reading was always the wonderful world of fantasy or intrigue that it developed in my mind. Reading was a script for the movie that played in my mind as I followed the Hardy Boys or Tom Swift from adventure to adventure. Later I was able to enjoy dozens of classics from Swiss Family Robinson to Treasure Island. Again, I wonder if my grandkids or their peers ever read some of the classics or do they merely resort to watching the Hollywood movie instead of their own personal mind-movie.

The skills learned by recreational reading were also instrumental in any success I had academically in high school or university. My post-secondary education was founded upon a solid need to read, understand, interpret, analyze, and infer meaning from the printed word. Reading provided the foundation for my future learning.

In later life, reading has continued to hold a lofty place in my daily routines. I always have a book on the go, another one waiting, and a long list of books for pick up at the local library. While I prefer fiction, I also enjoy books of travel and the history and cultures of other countries. Today, much reading is also delivered online by my computer accompanied by wonderful photos, videos, and lectures. I feel very sad for the people who can read and do not. So many of life's real pleasures will be missed!

39. You reap what you sow.

We all know of people and events that can illustrate this lesson. In my life, I think that in most instances I did reap what I sowed. I was raised by loving parents who instilled in me a belief in doing my best, honesty, integrity and treating others with kindness and compassion. My life's story would have been much different if I had not been successful in school. A job in a coal mine was never on my radar as a career, but many of my school mates ended up there.

I was a conscientious student in school and university and always worked hard trying to be a good teacher. Ultimately, I became a principal, a superintendent, and retired with a reasonable pension. In addition, I have enjoyed global travel for all of my life and experienced many different countries and cultures. I have been blessed with a rich, eventful life. 

It caused me a brief moment of objection when I heard second-hand that a colleague had suggested that I had sure been lucky in my life! While there may have been a tiny element of luck involved, I think I reaped what I had sown. Hard work had led to one success after another. I was able to travel because I had saved money, planned for the trips and taken the plunge. We lived overseas for ten years not because we had won a lotto, but because we had done our homework and taken a chance that many others could not or would not take. I think that I sowed the seeds of any successes that I might have experienced. (With a ready acknowledgement that my wife Darlene was also an integral influence and supporter)

It is far easier to look for someone to blame for the fact that we have not all achieved our dreams. It is far more productive to examine our own efforts and decisions and see if perhaps we had needed to work harder or make better choices. 

It is also important to remember that planting the seed is only the first step. The seed must then be tended to, nurtured, and watered if the final product is ever to be harvested. It is not just a one-step process!

38. You can't make everyone happy.

Over the years I have been blessed by knowing a lot of very wonderful and kind people. I know that it is debatable, but I believe that most people are inherently good. They try to do the right thing, are kind to everyone and are helpful and giving. To some, it is instilled by their upbringing and often has roots in their religious convictions. However, these giving individuals are faced with one insurmountable issue. They often try to make everyone around them happy and that is impossible, with one exception. 

I love to illustrate this lesson by using my wonderful sister, Helen, who has passed away, as the most giving person I ever knew. You never left her home without her giving you some small gift - a pair of knit slippers, a jar of pickles or a pair of socks. She was a 365-day-a-year Mrs. Clause! When she came to visit you, she often brought a large bag of gifts that would include something for everyone present. It made her happy and everyone around her happy as well. 

Christmas dinner was her ultimate venture where she tried to accommodate the culinary wishes of every one of the twenty to thirty guests. She would serve a full course turkey dinner complete with dressing, cranberries, mashed potatoes, turnips, peas and carrots, gravy and buns. But she knew that her friend Kay didn't like turkey, so there was also a baked ham, with scalloped potatoes, two kinds of green salads, mustard pickles and jellied salad. And what would Christmas be without some cabbage rolls and dill pickles? Just in case, she would also manage to find room on the buffet table for some sliced roast beef, boiled potatoes, ambrosia salad, beef gravy, fresh hot rolls and Brussell sprouts. As a final flourish, there were at least two pies, assorted squares, fruit and cheese and coffee or a dozen herbal teas for dessert. She did manage to make everyone happy. So happy in fact all of the guests were invited back the next day, for leftovers! 

My sister was a one of a kind wonderful person. She had the ability to make everyone happy. I know that I could never live up to her standards. Can you?

37. A place for everything and everything in its place.

There are two kinds of people in the world. (How many times have you heard that wisdom before?) There is one group who is so organized that they can, within a minute, find their passport, their 2018 Income Tax file, and the transcript of their high school marks. They know where everything is located. Then there is the other 99% of us who can't find their car keys, their wallet, or their reading glasses! And the latter group hates the first group immensely.  

Perhaps it is time we took a few lessons from the organizers. I consider myself more of an organized, than a disorganized person. Over the years, I have established two critical areas in our house that are designated for certain things. Inside of our entry, there is a small decorative box with a lid that is the collection place for our sets of car keys, our wallets, and our phones. Developing the simple habit of ALWAYS dropping these three items into the box, will save you hours and maybe even days over your lifetime that you spend looking for misplaced keys or wallet or phone. Give it a try: it works like a charm.

I also have ONE designated drawer that I use for "important" things that I know that I will need soon or sometime in an emergency. I use it for appointment cards, or passports, or tickets for upcoming events or reminder notices or any other item that I want to put in a safe place. This ONE drawer IS the safe place that you will always use. Don't have two special storage spaces or you will have lost the game.

I am sure to many of you these simple examples are obvious and not really that wonderful. I just know that my two designated spots have saved my life on many occasions. I don't want to become a fanatical organizer. I don't have massive filing cabinets, dozens of labelled boxes in the basement or dry goods stacked alphabetically in the pantry. None of these are bad ideas, but they don't compare to the entryway box and the special drawer. Trust me, it works!

36. Don't sweat the small things.

People vary in how they handle problems and difficult situations. Some get overwhelmed by a seemingly never-ending parade of problems. They may ponder over what to wear for the day, when to leave for work, do they have enough gas in the car and what they should make for lunch. Their life is a litany of decisions that they find quite stressful. Others are not concerned with any of the above issues, they just go with the flow. They don't sweat the small things. 

I will admit that I grew from being a 'sweater" to becoming rather unconcerned with daily little issues. As a student, I would be upset if I couldn't do one homework question or made one mistake on a spelling test. I was conscientious but also very concerned if I couldn't do something or deal with a small issue. As I grew older, I started to learn that worry is a waste of time. Whether I worried or not, did not ultimately affect the result of the situation. I began to learn to look at the bigger picture and not stress or be concerned over small details.

Ultimately, I have assumed the philosophy to not sweat the small things and everything is a small thing. That is perhaps a little bit of a stretch as there are some important issues that deal with human interactions, financial responsibilities, the work world and family life. But all of the little issues that some people stress over are not a part of my life anymore.

I think I have developed a lifestyle that is based upon a belief that there are usually many options for solving any problem. If one approach doesn't work select another one. My turning point was a decision either to quit university when I was hit with my 39% in Physics, as I have written about before, and instead chose to just do the best I could, work hard, and let the chips fall where they may. I continue to abide by that simple philosophy today.

Many people have difficulty discerning between what is really important and what is not as important. Unless you develop the ability to see the really important issues, you may forever be condemned to worrying about dust balls under the bed. I don’t!

35. You are in charge of your body and your health.

When I was growing up, a trip to see the doctor was a very rare occasion. If we had some minor ailment or a cut or bruise, my parents would deal with the issue with remedies that they had grown up with. You only went to the doctor when you had a "serious" health problem. Doctors were in the same category as the saints and you didn't bother either of them with minor problems. 

Well, times have certainly changed from the self-medicating, yellow mustard plaster days of my youth. Over the years, the family doctor, who was a master of all illnesses and surgeries, was replaced by dozens of specialists for every part of the body. The GP became the gatekeeper for access to all of the cardiologists, renal professionals, oncologists and on and on. In fact, today, the process to have elective surgery can take months and even years. Painful hips and joints, nerve problems and muscular degeneration can take forever to be assessed and treated. This evolution of the delivery and service model has led us to our present condition. 

Health professionals have become overwhelmed with the sick and ailing and can no longer meet the growing needs of an ever-growing public. Health educators have been emphasizing ways that individuals can better be preventative and take more responsibility for their own good health and well being. Healthy food selection and preparation, increased exercise, reduction in alcohol and drug use and stopping smoking are all actively being promoted. Dozens of websites provide the average person with information, recommendations and procedures for dealing with simple illnesses or ailments. We are being encouraged to take more of an active role in our own health and trying to avoid having to seek medical attention.

For some, this approach is very unsettling. Unless you assume more of a personal stake in looking after your own health, you probably consider that the public health system is failing. Until individuals become more health-conscious, the system will be overloaded. Today, it is important to learn to become your own "first responder!”

34. You cannot spend more money than you make.

This lesson might be rephrased to read "you should not spend" instead of "cannot" but the net result is the same. You will be in significant financial trouble. This has always been true, but in today's Corona-19 shattered world it is more true than ever. Currently, Canada has over three million people unemployed and the USA has over thirty-million unemployed. 

Most of the Western World has possessed a very high standard of living for over 75 years since the end of World War Two. Never before have so many people been able to accrue personal wealth and possessions that were the envy of much of the undeveloped world. Economies flourished, employment was high, standards of living were high and the good life was accepted as the norm and there was no end in sight. Of course, in very recent months we now know that is not true.

For years, economists have been encouraging the public to develop some long term financial plans and build some savings for the future. Some heard the message, but a large proportion of the population did not take the message to heart. The average debt of every Canadian this past year was about $21,000, excluding mortgages, for every man, woman and child. If mortgage debt was included the average debt was $73,000 per person! More than 50% of the population do not have savings that would cover all of their living expenses for the next month. Although these statistics are not unknown, many people have paid no heed. How this will impact the future of millions over the next year or years is going to be devastating. 

Before the last century, saving some money for the future was a commonly accepted practice. Our recent history has shown us that saving is no longer a very common practice. It appears that we are headed for a very difficult economic time. Where I earlier wrote that a man's reach should exceed his grasp, I also know that a man's expenses should not exceed his income. It is never too late to learn and practise that lesson.

33. It is not the mountains ahead that wear you out.

The second poster that hung in my office for many years read, "It is not the mountains ahead that wear you out, it is the grain of sand in your shoe." Over the years I have reflected upon that lesson and found it to be so true. It is not the large problems or situations that are the most difficult, but the tiny ones that may pop up or were not addressed or anticipated.

In my personal life, I encountered many examples. Often when I was doing some handyman work (and I use the term loosely) this truth was driven home. For example, if you were going to paint a large living room you soon learn that painting hundreds of square feet of wall is no big job actually. The problem is the number of small issues that take twice as much time as the painting - filling holes, sanding, taping baseboards, removing light switch plates, and cleaning up when you are finished. In the same vein, wallpapering a small bathroom takes longer with all of the plumbing, taps, backsplash, toilet waterlines, and baseboards that must be accommodated, than painting the Sistine Chapel would take.

In my work life, there were also numerous examples. Having to make a presentation to a large group can be daunting. I would work very hard gathering information, writing a draft, revising it, practising my delivery and preparing for every eventuality. I wanted to do a good job. When the time for my presentation arrived all of my efforts went for naught on two occasions. In one instance the microphone would not work and thus I was forced to almost yell rather than make a controlled delivery. On the second occasion, on a presentation using many overhead visuals, the projector light burned out and there was no replacement. It wasn't the hours of work preparing that wore me out it, was the two flies in the ointment that nearly ruined everything.

As we walk the road of life we are often daunted by a mountains-like challenge that we must sometimes face. Many times we persevere and are successful. Other times the tiny grain of irritating sand in our shoe can cause much more pain and discomfort.

32. Rejoice because thorn bushes bear roses.

One of the popular expressions that encourage people to adopt a positive outlook is the familiar, "Is the glass half full or half empty?" Of course, the answer is they are both the same, but your choice of the correct answer is a reflection of your own attitude. A half-full personality sees things in a positive light and the half-empty person sees things more negatively. At least that is the theory.

Our society has developed several similar sayings that encourage people to see the bright side of things and to think positively. Among them are

- When life hands you lemons, make lemonade

- Every cloud has a silver lining.

- Hope against hope.

- Things have a way of working out for the best.

- There is light at the end of the tunnel.

- Keep your chin up.

- Hang in there.

- There are plenty of fish in the sea. 

- When one door closes, another one opens.

My favourite expression promoting a positive outlook was expressed in a poster I used to display in my office. It read, " Rejoice because thorn bushes bear roses, rather than complain that rose bushes bear thorns." I always felt the imagery of the statement was a very convincing encouragement to me. 

Most of us will agree that we are much more likely to enjoy the company of positive people. While everyone displays both characteristics from time to time, one of them is the dominant feature of everyone's personality. If I think of people I know, I can quite readily attach a positive or negative label to many of them. 

Surround yourself with rose bushes, half-full glasses and clouds with silver linings as much as possible. It makes life much more enjoyable!

31. "There" is no better than "here".

Very often people are not satisfied with their current status. They are always looking over the hill and trying to find a better place or job or car. They find it hard to enjoy their present situation no matter how good it may actually be. They do not count their blessings nor reflect on all of the gifts they have been blessed with.

I used to have a neighbour who was a very sociable, upbeat kind of guy with a wife and two children living in a nice house in the suburbs. He was living my definition of the "good life", but Bob was never quite satisfied or completely happy. To enjoy life more, he first bought a small fold-up camper, then a small trailer, then a bigger trailer and finally a small motor home. He always needed to move up the ladder to a little higher level each year. 

In his work life, Bob was the same. He was a successful salesman for over thirty years, but Bob switched companies at least fifteen different times. One year he was a sales rep for roofing tile, then paper products, then pencils, then cedar homes. He always viewed the next job opportunity was going to be much better than his current job. And on and on! He was never happy.

Ultimately, after his children grew up and left home, Bob decided he and his wife should move to the Okanagan where he knew that life would not only be great, but better than it was in Calgary. Of course, you know the rest of the story. In a year, Bob and his wife returned to Calgary as they learned the hard way that living "there" was not really better than living “here".

Many people, often retirees, seem to not have learned that life lesson.  We often are influenced by others, by the media, and by magazines painting a wonderful picture of living in exotic places like Belize or Costa Rica or Victoria when people retire. Rather than be lured away by vague promises, it is more fruitful to count your present blessings where you currently live. You are usually near friends, family, familiar surroundings, trusted professionals and feel a sense of comfort and security. If you take a deep breath, count your blessings, and think of leaving them behind, I think, you will find "here" is usually better.

30. A man's reach should exceed his grasp.

One year as a teacher, I had a small poster on my wall that proclaimed, "A man's reach should exceed his grasp." I never commented on it nor used it as anything other than a decoration. Years later, I encountered a student from that time who made a point of reminding me of the poster. She said she read it every day and it made an impact on her life. I was quite surprised at her comment and it again taught me about how we often never know how we influence students - purposefully or accidentally.

Her comment made me examine the poster a little more closely. In my mind, I always felt that the poster was a positive encouragement to try to attain the best for yourself. Don't just settle for the usual and the ordinary, but try for the gold medal and don't just target the silver medal as good enough. Push yourself and go the extra mile. There is no shortage of similar epithets with the same message. 

There is however a second interpretation that I had never really considered when I hung the poster. It could have been read as an encouragement to be more self-centred and greedy. It might seem to encourage over-consumption, indulging in excess, and always wanting more of everything. None of these traits are the ones that I would have wanted my students to read into the poster. 

Thankfully, the young girl, who reminded me of the poster had internalized my first interpretation. She was an average student who went on to earn a college degree and became a successful adult. She had learned the value of pushing yourself to always do a little better. This kind of intrinsic motivation is not often developed by many students. They require others to push them. 

In my own life, I always tried to do my best, but I am not sure if I really set enough goals for a higher reward. I tended to follow the path that I found myself on. Like many, I often just took the next logical step or the next convenient route. 

Image how dangerous I would have become had I reached higher!

29. Calories in must equal calories out.

One of the lessons that men (and women) have the most difficulty learning is that the calories you consume by eating must not be greater than the calories you burn during any given day. If you eat more calories than you burn you will be FAT. If you eat more calories than you burn you will be FAT. Repeat this mantra before every meal and perhaps this simple lesson will be finally mastered. 

The Diet Industry, which has developed to help slow dietary learners to lose some weight, is a multibillion-dollar business. Every year we are introduced to a new dietary concept that the chubbies latch on to like a mongoose to a cobra (or visa versa). 

Some of the more successful diets are the Mediterranean Diet, Weight Watchers, and any of the packaged food diets. Any success is based upon a well-balanced selection from the five or seven basic food groups with an emphasis on fresh fruits, vegetables, and whole grains and nuts. Small portion sizes and a supportive mentor system all have some benefits. There are no secrets and there are no magic pills or remedies that will replace sensible food selection, preparation and self-discipline. Regular daily exercise will also be very helpful.

Fanatics over the years have invented dozens of bizarre diets. For example, the tapeworm diet works by swallowing a pill that has a tapeworm egg inside. When the egg eventually hatches, the tapeworm will grow inside your body and eat whatever you're eating. The idea is that you can eat whatever you want and still lose weight because the tapeworm is eating all your "extra" calories. The basic idea behind the sleeping beauty diet is that if you sleep more, you will not be awake to eat anything. If you are not eating anything, you are restricting your calories to a great extent and therefore, end up losing weight.

If you need any more instruction, just remember: If you eat more calories than you burn you will be FAT. If you eat more calories than you burn you will be FAT. Repeat and repeat!

28. Go for a walk every day!

I have been a walker all of my life. I used to walk to school, walk to town, walk to work, and walk for pleasure. I was never an athlete, never a jogger, never an exercise fanatic, but I have enjoyed walking since I was young. If I can attribute my reasonably good health as an octogenarian to any single reason, my lifetime of walking has to be it. 

Much of my decision to walk was because there was no other good alternative. I never owned a bike so my options were limited. Later, especially when I travelled, I loved to explore on foot. Bus tours are great and flying is convenient, but there is no substitute for wandering colourful back streets, climbing castle ramparts or strolling along a beach on foot. Little did I realize the many benefits that are attributed to walking. 

An internet search revealed all of the following benefits of walking: it doesn't cost anything, you can walk anytime, it promotes weight loss, 

it reduces the risk of developing type 2 diabetes, increases life span, can provide for socializing opportunities, can reduce the risk of heart problems, decreases the risk of obesity, can reduce sugar cravings, improves immunity, reduces the risk of breast cancer, can reduce anxiety and depression, can alleviate arthritis pain, will help lower blood pressure, can assist digestion and finally walking will help improve sleeping patterns. Maybe the biggest benefit of walking is that you don't even need to think of any of the above perks and you will still be granted them. It's a no brainer!

As I grow older there are days when my daily social calendar or list of jobs are both empty and I find myself at a loss of what to do. Whenever I get that feeling, I stop and put on my shoes, and go for a walk out our back door into Edworthy Park. Going for a walk is my default setting when I don't know what to do with myself. Can you think of a better option? 

The expression that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, could easily be replaced with my personal favourite, a regular walk each day also keeps the doctor away! (or perhaps at bay!) 

27. Always try your best.

This briefly worded lesson seems to be an obvious truth. But as in many other lessons the most simply worded are often the most difficult to actually perform. I think that I can admit that I have pretty much always tried to do my best. I found my years of school were very successful because I had a good memory. School was easy, I was motivated by my successes and it kept me working hard and trying to continue to do well. If you are not too successful, extra effort may not come as naturally as it came to me. 

The challenge of working hard hit me for the first time in my first year of university. On my first physics exam, I failed it with a mark of 39%. I know that I was devastated as I had never ever received a mark that low in my life. I can still visualize sitting in my college room at my desk and feeling shattered. I did my usual analysis of a problem situation and decided that I had two choices. I could either quit university right then or I could devote twice as much time to studying physics that I did to my other easier courses. I didn't want to disappoint my parents by quitting, so I chose option B. I would try my best and just work harder. At year-end, I passed the course with 65%.

Had I not made the choice I did, my life would have taken a totally different path. As with most of life's lessons, there are a lot of interconnecting elements. Effort can lead to success, success can stimulate motivation, and motivation can lead to greater effort. This very real cycle was also very obvious to me as a teacher. One of my greatest challenges was working with a group of grade nine students who had failed at math for nine years. They had no confidence in math. I tailored my program to make the kids successful. I minimized the curriculum to small bite-size concepts and taught them slowly until every student could understand each concept. By moving slowly, not proceeding until mastery of a concept, it led students to become more successful. The more they succeeded, the harder they worked, and the better their math marks became. In months, they loved math because they had worked hard and become successful. I consider it one of my greatest successes as a teacher. Hard work by the students was the glue!

26. Don't be afraid to say, "No".

Over the years, we have all probably encountered a lot of “yes-men" who agree with just about everything. Generally, they are seeking your approval for something, are selling something, or are just afraid to offend in any way. I don't recall that we have ever coined the term "no men" who are disagreeable with everything. These people may have been labelled grump or cranky or ornery, but I don't think there is an equivalent to the “yes-men" label.

The principal reason we don't recognize the “no-men" category is because it is a lot more difficult to say no to a request than to say yes. If we are required to deny a person a request then it is expected that an explanation or a rationale will be presented for the decision. People who have had a question, request, application or a demand countered with a negative response will expect an answer to "why not?". It is therefore far easier to simply provide a positive response and thus not need to elaborate. 

This life lesson was driven home to me early in my teaching career when I was a principal for the first time. My immediate line-officer phoned me to ask about my current vice principal who was being considered for a promotion to a principalship the next year. My "boss" indicate that he had only one question that he wanted me to answer. He asked me if my vice principal was able to say, "No". I indicated that he could and that was the extent of the phone call. 

Upon hanging up, I reflected that that was a very bizarre single question. Then as I thought about it, I realized the power of the question. Anyone who is in a position of authority, whether a parent or a principal, must be able to deny a request or just say no. It is often very difficult to tell someone they cannot get a driver's license yet or a person was not going to get a promotion. Feelings are often hurt and the bearer of bad news or negative responses must be able to recognize it is all part of life.

Being able to say “no” during difficult situations is one of life's hard lessons.

25. You are not lucky, you are blessed.

Should we consider ourselves lucky or blessed for the good fortunes that have been bestowed upon us in this life? The answer can be very simple. If you are a believer in a Higher Power, you will probably choose the blessing label and if you are not a believer, you will decide that everything that happens to us in this world is just a matter of good or bad luck. Upon examining my own life I have come to my choice!

In summary, I have lived for eighty years in relatively good health, am among the 5% of the richest people in the world, and possess all of the essential amenities our world offers. I have supportive friends and family, have experienced and visited many countries and cultures around the globe, and live in a safe, comfortable, stable environment. I have never experienced war, famine, earthquakes, floods, or hurricanes. I have enjoyed a quality life and experienced so many earthly comforts that I feel my life has been full and fulfilled. Have I just been lucky or have I been blessed?

Luck has been defined as success or failure apparently brought by chance rather than through one's own actions. As I apply that definition to the successes of my life I can ask. Was I lucky to have been born in Canada, to have had loving parents, to have no childhood illnesses, to earn a university education, to acquire a life long profession, to be paid a pension after retirement, to have a loving family, to have lived a happy life? Were all of these just attributed to the choices that I made? And if so, was it just by chance that I made so many correct choices? If I were a statistician, I am sure that if I calculated the probability of making those millions of life choices correctly, the odds would be astronomical!

A good friend many years ago used to stop and correct me when I would say, "Boy, was I lucky about some success.” He would say, "Ken, you have not been lucky, you have been blessed." I have now adopted Bill's advice because my life really feels like a blessing, not just dumb luck! I know that I have been truly blessed!

24. Learn to be a good listener.

How often have you been at a gathering of people and as you look around you note that everyone seems to be talking and no one seems to be listening? This is not unusual. Listening, with attention, has become a lost art. I have been fortunate during my life as I was basically quite shy and as a result, I grew up more of a listener than a talker. Those roles may have reversed in recent years. 

Today's technology does not do a lot to encourage face to face conversations and force people to listen to others. Texting has become the chosen means of communication by many. Not only does texting and tweeting discourage conversation, but it also minimizes any deep thinking and reflection. We have become a nation of shorty, pithy sentences (?) that do not require a lot of effort or concentration. Or provide an opportunity to listen!

During my working days, I was often involved with regular meetings of one kind or another. In any group, there are two kinds of people - those who love to throw in their opinion vocally and those who prefer to sit back and listen. Of course, I fell into the latter group. As Yogi Berra surmised, "You can observe a lot just by watching." I would suggest that similarly, "You can learn a lot just by listening." 

Many courses are offered to teach the art of "active listening". The term almost seems like an oxymoron as we generally view listening as a passive activity. However, effective listening requires concentration and a focussed mind. If you are not tuned in, you will often end up daydreaming or your mind will drift off in another direction.

Again, using an example as a former teacher, I always directed my students to look at me as I explained some math or science concept. I could tell by looking at their eyes if they in fact were paying attention or listening to me as I talked. If they weren’t, I stopped talking and they quickly picked up my cue and refocussed their attention. The good news is that it is never too late to become a good listener if you choose!

23. The greatest gift to give a child is self-confidence.

Any parent wants the best for their children. We want them to be healthy, successful in school, have many friends, live an active life and possess the values and good manners that will make us proud. As I aged, I discovered one special quality that I have found can make such a difference in one's life - the gift of self-confidence. 

As a child, I lived in a small village, went to small schools until high school, was basically quite shy, and lived a sheltered life. As my world expanded to a bigger high school and ultimately to a large university in a big city I began to witness the power of self-confidence. Each of my small successes helped me to feel more confident and more willing to try new ventures. 

It is important to remember that self-confidence can be developed. It is built through positive achievements and can be shattered by negative feedback and results. It is never too early to start providing your children with opportunities for success. When they are given a new task make sure that they have a chance to succeed. Guide them and support them towards completing the task. Each successful completion adds another brick to the foundation of self-confidence. Success breeds more success, and each success builds confidence. Over a child's school career, the more times a child can feel good about completing the hundreds of challenges successfully, the more it will develop into a life long attribute.

A second method of building confidence is by developing the skills of public speaking. It can be formal or in a creative manner by becoming an "actor". An actor can assume a different persona and a child can learn to act or perform in a confident manner even if it is not initially real. This kind of practice can be carried over into real life if the student can do it convincingly. A shy person, like I was as a kid, can learn that they can project and exude confidence so effectively that others will become believers.

With self-confidence, a child can reach exceptional heights!

22. Moderation in everything should be a goal.

I wrote earlier that everyone should develop a hobby over time. Sometimes that advice can lead to a different problem - OCB or obsessive-compulsive behaviour. For example, if a person decides to try golf as a hobby, it may develop into an uncontrollable passion. Golfing for recreation is a good thing: needing to golf in sun, wind, and rain almost every day is a compulsion that is not good. Rather than acquiring a hobby a person has become an extremist. I maintain that extremism is not good in any arena for anyone. 

Malcolm Gladwell's book Outliers, says that anyone can master a skill with 10,000 hours of practice. That is a pretty extreme commitment and yet some people are driven to try. Jim Fixx, was an American is credited with helping start America's fitness revolution by popularizing the sport of running and demonstrating the health benefits of regular jogging. He ran daily and yet died of a heart attack at age 52. I think that is a tragic commentary on not balancing his hobby with some common sense. Moderation might have prevented his death.

During my life, I have encountered all kinds of examples of behaviour that makes a case for moderation in everything. People who go on strict fitness routines or strict diets often experience major negative results from their compulsion. Both regular exercise and intelligent food choices are wonderful practices if done in a balanced fashion. 

We however have been living in a world of excess. Many people get swept up in a "keep score" mentality. How many miles did I run? How many calories did I consume? How many shoes do I have? How many hours did I work? How many dollars did I make? These answers can all lead to unnecessary excess and the reason is often not very sound nor convincing. 

A happy life is often reflected in people who demonstrate a balance in all aspects of their lives. Unhappiness can often be attributed to an excessive habit or practise that twists their world out of orbit. Make moderation in everything a life goal!

21. Always do your homework.

This is not a lesson that is directed toward school children only. While it is an accepted part of a child's education, it is more far-reaching than that. Homework implies that we have been assigned a responsibility or expectation that we will prepare on our own time for some future encounter. My life experiences have always placed a high value on being prepared and doing my homework.

At an elementary level, children are assigned work to finish without the supervision of a teacher. It is an opportunity for a child to demonstrate that they have the self-discipline to complete a task and show that they can learn responsibility at an early age. As a principal, I had the same expectation of my teaching staff. A teacher's homework was to meaningfully prepare lessons to teach the next day and to mark the work that students had submitted. Needless to say, some teachers performed their homework better than others. 

In later life, I often encountered examples of poor planning and lack of foresight. I recall attending numerous meetings in my working life where we had been given an assignment, usually some document or submission, that we were asked to read and consider before the meeting. I soon became fairly obvious who had and who had not done their homework. 

The more responsible a job or profession, the more often individuals were required to be well prepared. I have encountered university professors who were not prepared and flew by the seat of their pants. Some coaches in all minor sports are very well organized and planned for their practice sessions, and others just let kids fool around. Ministers have often ad-libbed a sermon that they had a week to prepare ahead of time. If a person has not done their homework and preparation, they are wasting the valuable time of a lot of people who have depended upon them. 

If you consider successful people that you know, I am positive that you would agree that they always worked hard and were prepared.