80. The Serenity Prayer says it all!

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, 

The courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.

As I was brainstorming my 80 life lessons, I already knew ahead of time that the Serenity Prayer had to be included. It is such a powerful guide for every one of us. All programs that deal with addictions, whether it be smoking, alcohol, drugs, overspending or anger management, subscribe to the message of this prayer. It is a powerful tool to assist anyone who is in need of help with personal problems. 

I have just finished seeing how many of my 80 lessons might fit in some way into the Serenity message. I was amazed at how many were relevant. When I reviewed the lessons that dealt with “accepting the things I cannot change” some of my lessons were:

• people highly value fairness - 4
• you are responsible for your own happiness - 6
• you are not lucky, you are blessed - 25
• you are in charge of your own body and your health - 35
• you can’t make everyone happy - 38
• knowledge is power - 51
• everyone wants to feel valued - 52
• worry is a waste of time - 57
• it doesn’t matter what others think of you - 64
• age is only a number - 69
• you are the master of your fate - 77

When I examined “the things that I can change” I selected as examples:

• courtesy and good manners are important - 7
• try to engage someone in conversation every day - 10
• success depends on self discipline and perseverance - 11
• never stop learning and reading - 14
• be kind, be gentle, be humble - 17
• moderation in every thing should be a goal - 22
• always try your best - 27
• learn to laugh at yourself - 41
• be on time, it shows respect - 44
• a smile can make all the difference - 49
• patience is a virtue - 55
• always keep your promises - 68
• don’t be afraid to try new foods - 76
• always think and plan ahead - 79

The entire prayer is simple to read but not as easy to put into practice. And possibly that hardest part is the third line, having “the wisdom to know the difference” between what we must accept and what we can change. Many of the problems and issues that some of us have struggled with over a lifetime often have been captured in the wisdom of the Serenity Prayer.  

79. Always think and plan ahead.

One of my small exasperations occurs when I am in the checkout line in a store. The person ahead of me places their items on the belt, watches the clerk price them and then declares the cost. The customer is overcome by surprise that they are going to have to pay for their purchases and then has to go searching through their purse or pockets, for their wallet or change purse, to withdraw their payment. Did they not think or realize that they should be prepared to pay for their items or did they think it was 100% Off Tuesday? People who do not think ahead, even for a small matter, leave me baffled!

Thinking and planning ahead just makes so much sense to me. When I receive a bill to pay or a check to cash I always place it where I will remember it and can deal with it when I need to. Tossing it on a desk or in a pile of other materials is not thinking ahead. Letting your gas gauge in your car get so low that you can hear the engine gasping for a drink is not good practise or planning. Where would half of today’s drivers be if the little orange gas pump that lights up on our dash board was not present? Car manufacturer’s were thinking ahead for us, as they knew Mr. Average Driver probably wouldn’t be!

The government has started to quit thinking ahead for us now. They have decided that if you were qualified to drive a car you should be able to remember when you needed to renew your registration and your driver’s license. Thus, they are no longer mailing out reminders to make sure we don’t miss expiry dates. In addition to attempting to make us a little more responsible for simple things, it will also generate considerable income from those people who will be fined for missing the deadlines that they did not plan ahead for.

There are a litany of regular examples of poor planning. Did you renew your favourite magazine subscription before or after your last issue arrived? Did you make a shopping list or just curse the gods when you returned home minus two important items? Do the people who shop madly on Christmas Eve day for gifts not know that December 25 is ALWAYS Christmas Day? A little thinking and planning ahead can make life a whole lot less stressful!

78. You are the master of your fate.

I had to memorize the poem “Invictus” by William Ernest Henley when I was in high school. At the time, it was just another hoop to jump through and so I did as was expected. However, I have always repeated the final two lines in the poem as a kind of personal mantra, “I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.” I think it has unconsciously helped guide me during my life. 

If I am the master of my fate, then I am the boss, I am in charge and I am the decision maker. I must accept the responsibility of making the right choices and the direction that my life takes. No one else is going to take the credit for my successes or more importantly no one else is going to be blamed for my failures. I alone decide if:

• I begin each day with a smile or a frown
• my attitude to life will be positive or negative
• I treat others as I would choose to be treated
• I put in the effort to achieve my goals or not
• my life is surrounded by many or few friends
• my standards of conduct and behaviour are acceptable
• my life is boring or exciting
• I model the important values I wish others to emulate
• I am humble, sincere, honest and kind
• I maximize the opportunities that life presents me

Some people don’t really understand that they are responsible for their own lives. Of course, many have to face some serious issues during their entire life. If you are faced with a major health issue or troubling family problems, life can often seem unfair and in some cases that is true. It does not prevent a person from taking charge of the aspects of their life that they can control or significantly influence. It is not easy, but “you are the master of your fate.” 

I think my life has been shaped by a loving childhood, the gift of an excellent memory, an appreciation for simple pleasures and a moral compass provide by my Catholic upbringing. I credit these factors and life’s many other blessings along with my simple mantra for a long happy life. “I am the master of my fate.” 

77. Be flexible and have a sense of humour.

If you have ever been a traveller, you know that the best laid plans of mice, men, and travel agents don’t always go as planned. On a recent trip in Viet Nam, we were waiting for a flight from Hoi An to Hanoi when our fellow travellers in the departure lounge started getting up, chattering to each other and leaving the room. The Vietnamese PA announcement, that we didn’t understand, apparently informed the passengers that our flight had just been cancelled. My friends and I looked at each other with blank stares and thought, “ What the heck do we do now?” Believe me, it was only because of our flexibility and sense of humour that we still continue to travel today. (pre-covid)

Travel invariably involves having to deal with the unexpected. I have experienced car trouble, severe weather, missed connections, lost luggage, airplane engine loss, and turbulent flights over the years. They are all very traumatic when they occur and will test our resilience, our problem solving abilities and above all our sense of humour. As Kipling said, more or less, “If you can keep your head when those around you are losing theirs, you don’t really understand the problem!” 

Our entire life is a journey and just as when we undertake leisure travel, we encounter the same kind of unexpected events that we must deal with. My career path began in left field when I enrolled in an Honours Chemistry program and completed it with little enjoyment or interest. I knew chemistry was not going to guide my life’s work so I shifted gears and took a year of teacher training. I became a teacher and loved it. Had I not changed directions when I did, who knows if  you would have ever been able to read this mesmerizing blog!

As those of you who know me can attest, I developed a sense of humour over the years. Sometimes it was appreciated and sometimes not so much. But because life can throw you so many curves over the years a well developed sense of humour certainly helps in dealing with life’s minor problems. Did you hear the one about the coal miner’s kid who gave up a promising career as a country and western lounge singer to become a teacher? Ha ha!

76. Don’t be afraid to try new foods.

The phrase 'You Are What You Eat' means that it is important to eat good food in order to be healthy and fit. When I was growing up we were the victims or beneficiaries of what we could grow in our gardens. We did not buy produce at a grocery store and everyone was self-sufficient by maintaining large gardens. My dad grew potatoes, tomatoes, cucumbers, onions, radishes, lettuce, cabbage etc and I became, what our family grew. 

Today, that option is not so simple. For example, did you know that there are 4,000 varieties of potatoes, 3,500 varieties of apples and 15,000 varieties of tomatoes? There are dozens of fruits and vegetables that I had never heard of as a chlld: kale, lemon grass, durian, passion fruit, broccolini, kumquats etc. The variety of foods that we can now access is overwhelming and yet many people are reluctant to swerve from the “meat and potatoes” menu. 

Travelling has probably been one of the reasons that I have discovered new wonderful foods that we can now eat. My food explorations have led to all sorts of new favourites. On one trip to Turkey, friends took us to dinner and ordered grilled octopus for all. My mind kept visualizing Captain Nemo fighting the submarine entangled squid “Twenty-Thousand Leagues Under the Sea” and did not cause me to salivate in the least. I know order fresh octopus whenever it is on a menu. I have learned that it is so important to try new foods and dishes. There’s a whole world of wonderful new foods.

Spending a fair amount of time in South East Asia has also provided me with numerous opportunities to eat dishes or bowls of “unknown” origin. I had no trouble pointing to the huge pot of red or green stew-like soup and ordering it with some rice. My only misgiving was that I never knew the contents of the dish so I could order it again. 

It might be a surprise, but I have never been sick from street food. In Mexico, I often buy the grilled-on-an-open-fire-chicken sold outside the market. It pushes Colonel Saunders right off the chart. I urge you to try it Mikey, you might like it! Be brave!

75. Develop a questioning mind.

I am sure that a lot of you have been wondering when I would get around to writing about the changing nature of the question and the art of questioning. Others will just continue to take questioning for granted and not be aware of how it has changed over the years. Fortunately, I have been chronicling this phenomenon for years. 

When I was a young child there were no questions. Rather there were no questions allowed or directed at us kids. We were raised in the era of “children should be seen and not heard.” At many social gatherings when the adults gathered in the kitchen, the kids were banished to the bedrooms or chased outside. We were not invited to participate in discussions nor ask questions. What did we know that would contribute to the discussion?

My question-free childhood accompanied me throughout my school years. I never raised my hand to ask a question for one of two reasons. Sadly, I was not really an inquisitive child and I waited for others to ask my question, which always happened. So why would I ask a question?

Fast forward to today. When we have a family dinner my two grandchildren are very knowledgable about many current topics of the day. With the impact of mass media on everyone, school children are educated by a wealth of information on their TVs, computers and smart phones. They are encouraged to ask questions and their opinion is also sought in order to stimulate their abilities to think and respond. A lot of questions often circulate around the dinner table.

We are no longer asking simple questions that require a yes or no response. Today we are often asking questions for clarification, or that probe issues, reasons, evidence, implications, or consequences. Todays questions are far more strategic and also often explore points of view or perspectives. Many of our discussions ultimately raise a question that will challenge the truth of the news and arguments of others. It is important in today’s world to become a questioning individual where the search for truth is becoming more difficult daily! 

74. Try to find a way to say, “Yes”.

I am sure that dozens of astute followers will remind me of life lesson #26 that proclaimed, “Don’t be afraid to say, ‘No’.” And now I am covering all of my bases by suggesting that we find a way to provide a “Yes” response. OK Ken, you can’t have it both ways. Well, I would profess that you can. 

“No” is often a difficult response to a request when you understand that the person may be disappointed or upset with a negative response. Sometimes in life that is necessary and we have to learn that lesson. The “Yes” response is proposed when both responses are acceptable and a “yes” would not really be a big deal but would just provide a more pleasing outcome for the questioner. 

When we ran our conference centre business between 1997 and 2000, we hosted a wide variety of church, business and social groups. Our philosophy was that we would provide exceptional service, not just casual politeness. If a business client requested special audio-visual equipment or a unique meeting room configuration or a special menu, we never hesitated to approve and provide their request. Our success was based entirely upon Darlene’s cooking and our unfailing service. 

A lot of times when I was working, I found that some individuals operated by a strict handbook or set of rules and regulations. They felt comfortable sticking to the rule book and were not really ready to consider other options. As a result of their inflexibility, a lot of hard feelings and unhappiness was often the result. 

I recall a staff member who delivered her twins three months prematurely. The boys were hospitalized for two months and the teacher requested that she return to work immediately and take her maternity leave when the twins actually came home. The “rules” said she had to take her leave immediately so she was at home alone for two months and when she needed the time off she was told “No!” A little flexibility would have made the family much happier and not inconvenienced the organization at all. Try to say, “Yes” more often. 

73. If you don’t use it, you lose it.

“The Wurtz–Fittig reaction is the chemical reaction of aryl halides with alkyl halides and sodium metal in the presence of dry ether to give substituted aromatic compounds.” Believe it or not, at one time in my life that chemical reaction meant something to me. It was one of the hundred different famous reactions that I was able to repeat on an Organic Chemistry exam during my undergraduate studies. If we fast forward to today, this is just one tiny example of the above lesson - if you don’t use it, you lose it. 

During my four years studying chemistry my head was saturated with hundreds of “fascinating” tidbits of information like the above. I confess that I would not be able to pass the Chemistry 30 final exam in high school today. I guess this is not a surprise, as we all have spent a lot of our lives learning a lot of things that we have forgotten or never used. 

I surmise that much of what we have learned by rote in our younger years is just a faint memory now. I can still recite a couple of poems that I was required to memorize in school, and you all recognize what  a useful skill that is at a Christmas party. I have observed that a number of my friends who learned to play a musical instrument still maintain much of that skill even though they do not regularly practise it. I always envy anyone who can pick up a musical instrument and play something even if it is not too polished.

Foreign languages also seem to be much more ingrained in people even if they rarely use them. One of my friends can still recall enough Italian to communicate with relatives in Italy although he has lived his whole life in Canada. When we lived in Turkey for four years I had a simple functional ability to communicate in Turkish. Today it has been reduced to Merhaba (hello) and Gunaydin (good morning). Perhaps this lesson only applies to me. I hadn’t really thought of that!

I wonder, if we don’t practise our religion, our good manners, our compassion and our positive outlook will we begin to lose them! I hope not, but I know that I have forgotten all of my chemistry! Oh! Oh!

72. Take pleasure in life’s simple gifts.

I think that I would select this lesson as one of my Top Ten. It would have been lovely to receive a million dollar signing bonus, win a LottoMax jackpot, or be granted an eight figure retirement package. But since that kind of bonanza was not in the cards, I know that I have been blessed instead with many of life’s simple gifts. I experience them every day through my five senses.

I love the sight of: a beautiful sunrise, any rainbow, a chinook arch, the colours of a butterflies wings, a field of wild flowers, kittens playing, new-fallen snow, trees budding in Spring, autumn leaves, a gurgling mountain steam …

I love to hear: the sound of rain on the roof, the crackle of a wood fire, any bird singing, a bat hitting a baseball, rolling thunder, crashing waves, tree leaves rustling in the wind… 

I love to smell: fresh mown grass, the air after a spring rain, cooking bacon, fresh lilacs, lemons and oranges, freshly sawed lumber, campfire smoke, fresh popcorn, a Christmas tree, anything being barbecued…

I love the taste of: fresh strawberries, sauerkraut, grilled trout, any icing on any cake, anything pickled, mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, marmalade, Diet Coke, peppermint… 

I love the feel of: a baby’s skin, cashmere, soft leather, peach skin, velvet, a clean shave, loose clothing, old shoes, a hot shower, an outdoor campfire…   

I believe that most of the joy and happiness in life involve the simple pleasures that we encounter on a regular basis. Sharing these simple treats with family and friends only enhances the enjoyment. Most of us aren’t going to win the lottery, so we should really count our blessings and just enjoy all of the little pleasures that life provides for us on a daily basis. Don’t lose sight of the simple gifts! 

71. There is no greater joy than grandchildren.

On occasion, the prospect of a mega lottery win competes in the “greatest joy” category, but in the end our two grandchildren always emerge as the winner. Sawyer who is fifteen and Helen who is thirteen have truly blessed our lives with hundreds of hours of excitement, wonder and enjoyment. Any of you who also have grandkids will understand how much they can enrich your lives. 

I recently constructed a collage of about fifty photos of Sawyer and Helen that spanned the past fifteen years. It is such a pleasure to witness, through the pictures, how they have grown and changed over the past decade. Each picture also transports me to a different time, event, and location where the photo was taken. It is kind of like watching a daily travelogue.

In many ways, the joy of grandchildren is the opportunity to enjoy them in all of their moods and phases without ultimately having to be responsible for their happiness, safety, or upbringing. It is not that we love them any less but rather we can spoil them and not have to deal so much with their disappointments in life. It is the best of both worlds. We can enjoy them without having to change their soiled diapers or help untangle their troubling moments. 

Grandchildren also teach us a lot about ourselves. When we raise our own children our world is usually encased in a whirlwind of activities that includes school, sports, clubs, and playtime. As parents you are always operating at warp speed and juggling schedules of the entire family seven days a week. As grandparents we have the luxury of interacting with the grandkids on a much more controlled manner. We have enjoyed their sleepovers, taking them to movies and sporting events, camping with them and enjoying a weekly Sunday dinner with them in a family setting. We can attend their school events, share Christmas excitement with them and at the end of the event we can retire to the peace and serenity of our own home. 

I get an occasional sad twinge as I watch them both growing up and becoming young adults, long removed from their cute childhood faze

70. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

The Golden Rule above is a cross-cultural ethical precept found in virtually all the religions of the world. Raised as a Catholic this was a common theme of my days attending catechism and preached in many Sunday sermons. In its simplicity and wisdom, it is pretty much a truth that no one will object to nor criticize. In fact, it is part of the teaching of all of the major world religions.  For example: 

Buddhism - Treat not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful.

Christianity - In everything, do to others as you would have them do to you

Confucianism - Do not do to others what you do not want done to yourself.

Hinduism - This is the sum of duty; do naught onto others what you would not have them do unto you.

Islam - Not one of you truly believes until you wish for others what you wish for yourself.

Judaism - What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbour. Sikhism - As thou deemest thyself, so deem others.

Taoism - Regard your neighbour’s gain as your own gain and your neighbour’s loss as your own loss.

Upon some reflection, it is quite amazing that although the Golden Rule is universally subscribed to by all religions and cultures, the practice of that principle leaves a lot to be desired. Most global conflicts, whether local or worldwide, obviously are a direct disregard for the principle of love thy neighbour. 

Currently, we are witnessing many protests that deal with the infringement on human rights. Whether it is the Black Lives Matter or appeals from First Nations groups for fair treatment, they are based upon the violation of the Golden Rule. A recent video of a college lecture asked the white audience who among them would like to be treated like we treat the black race. No one raised their hand. That simple question and response was a resounding condemnation of how easy it is to mistreat others, recognize it and then ignore it! Sad!

69. Age is only a number.

Some of you will agree that age is only a number and others will pause for a moment to think about it. I am a supporter of the statement as I have never been particularly conscious of my age. I wasn't excited to be a teenager at 13 or to be eligible to drive a car at 15 or drink beer in a bar at 21. I never fudged being 39 for three or four extra years, nor celebrated the arrival of Freedom 55. Ages 65 and 70 and 75 came and went and I just ambled along. 

I know that some people, often the feminine gender, do agonize at arriving at certain chronological milestones. For some, turning 30 or 40 or 50 are significant stages that concern them. To illustrate the irrelevance of age, I am sharing the following achievements by famous people of various ages. For example:

• Mozart at age six, wrote five short piano pieces that are still frequently performed.
• Actress Shirley Temple became a millionaire before age 10.
• Fats Domino was a professional pianist by 10.
• At age 14, Romanian gymnast Nadia Comaneci became the first athlete in Olympic history to achieve a perfect 10.
• Author Joseph Conrad, 17, wanting to be a sailor, first went to sea. P.S. Conrad's Mother was a Bobrovski - from my family tree!
• Robert Browning publishes his first poetry at age 21
• Charles Goodyear, 39, discovered vulcanization and led the way to the effective use of rubber.
• Rachel Carson wrote Silent Spring at 55.
• At 66, Colonel Sanders founded Kentucky Fried Chicken.
• Grandma Moses started painting at 77.
• At 99, Harold Foster of Owensboro, KY, began learning to read.

No matter what age we claim, the world will not be as impressed by the number as by the achievement that can be noted beside your name. I humbly will submit that Ken Bobrosky at age 80 wrote about 80 Life Lessons he learned during his 80 years of stumbling around. Now it is your turn! Don't be shy! Everyone can claim something!

68. Always keep your promises (word).

This is the kind of life lesson that really doesn't need much elaboration, so this missive could end right here. However, I don't wish to disappoint my vast audience, so I have found several quotes to add some flavour to the topic. For example:

• It is a bad thing to break a promise, but it is a worse thing to let a promise break you.
• Losers make promises they often break. Winners make commitments they always keep.
• Deliver more than you promise.
• Promises are like crying babies in theatres, they should be carried out at once.
• Promises may get thee friends, but non-performance will turn them into enemies.
• Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build bridges even when there are no rivers.
• The politician's promises of yesterday are the taxes of today.
• The best way to keep one's word is not to give it.
• Promise yourself, no matter how hard it gets, you'll never give up on your dreams.
• There is no greater fraud than a promise not kept.
• Under promise. Over deliver.
• Promises are like the full moon, if they are not kept at once, they diminish day by day.
• Promises are like babies: easy to make, hard to deliver.
• Promises were a lot like impressions. The second one didn't count for much.

I have always tried to live my life by keeping my word. I think I have been successful in that regard. I give my parents credit for instilling my core values and honesty was always ranked very highly. My Catholic upbringing taught me as a child that it was wrong to lie and I continue to believe it as an adult. 

Breaking a promise is breaking a trust. And once a trust is broken there is no way to repair it. You can only lose trust once!

67. Make sure you have "fall back money".

Sometimes I feel like a broken record cautioning people to be fiscally responsible or maybe a closet financial advisor. My lifetime spanned from the thrifty fifties through the richest period of human history. My childhood was spent watching every penny, to my later life when money seemed to flow like water. The last several decades have been the "best of times" for many. 

It is sad to say that a lot of people have been living the good life and not paying much attention to the possibility of an economic slowdown. Our current COVID pandemic has caused global economies to recede dramatically and impact the financial security of many. With the credit card mentality that has been growing steadily, every Canadian - man, woman and child - owes about $22,000 personal debt. To many, the sky is falling and they never expected it.

I recall as a student studying the wonders of compound interest. My teacher made us do the math to examine the practice of saving a small portion of your income every month. We were wowed when we learned that a $100 a month saved every month of our life in a compound interest account would yield trillions of dollars when we got old. As amazed as we were at the miracle of compound interest, and a regular savings plan, none of my friends nor I actually followed the plan. This is just another example of the old adage, "You can show a human how to make a million dollars and they will not do it if it requires any personal self discipline." Or something similar! 

While I never saved to the extreme, I always was fairly frugal and managed to accrue a reasonable savings account. Financial advisors suggest that a person should have at least three-months salary saved in case of an emergency. I would suspect that the number of individuals who actually have that kind of savings is very small. 

Possessing a small savings account, in my opinion, is also a tonic that helps reduce daily stress. To know that if you lose your job, or need a new car, or the fridge dies, you are not going to be thrust into debt. Fall back money will help you achieve some peace of mind!

66. If you don't choose your path, life will.

As we journey through life, we can either plan our own route to our final destination or life will intervene and plan it for you. In high school, I had a friend, Roger, who wanted to become a lawyer just as his grandfather had been. This life goal provided Roger with all of the guidance he needed to make decisions along the way. He earned his degree and practised law all of his life, just as he had dreamed. Most of us did not possess that definite a life goal.

Much of my life consisted of taking the next step without an overall plan or fixed direction. When I was in my final year of high school I had an unofficial mentor-teacher who gently coaxed me to consider going to university. She helped me apply, select a program and encouraged me along the way. I always maintained without her counsel and care, I don't know where I would have ended up. 

After earning my chemistry degree, I still had no specific career goals. I knew scientific research wasn't my life's dream and chose instead to try education. I felt that I would "try" teaching and if I didn't like it I would continue my search. As it turned out I loved teaching and made it my life's career. Within my career, I progressed (?) from teacher to vice-principal, to principal, to a program superintendent. I admit that my career life was not planned by myself but rather other factors developed the route. 

I often wonder what path I would have taken if I had been as goal-oriented as my friend Roger. I will never know. Although much of our life's journey is unplanned, there is still a lot of opportunities to make smaller plans that can make life enjoyable. I know that I have always loved to travel and over the years have planned trips all over the world. These travel goals have provided me dozens of enjoyable experiences that I would have never encountered if I had not set them as goals. 

While goal setting is not essential, it can provide you with many wonderful experiences that would not have happened just by chance. If you don't make your own plans, unseen life forces will!

65. To better understand we must walk in our neighbour's shoes.

First Nations people first used the expression to suggest that you must walk a mile in the other man's moccasins to really understand their journey. This admonition to walk a mile in someone else's shoes means before judging someone, you must understand his experiences, challenges, thought processes, etc. It is a reminder to practise empathy and not make assumptions.

I don't read a lot of biographies or autobiographies, but when I do, I am always surprised by all of the details and experiences that you are exposed to for the first time. I recall reading Andres Agassi's autobiography that chronicled the life of the former number one ranked tennis player and the winner of seven Grand Slam tennis events. Although his prowess led to fame and fortune, his book revealed that he "hated" playing tennis because of how his father had forced him into the sport from childhood. While the public's perception was that he was a superstar, his feelings were far different. Who would have guessed?

I know that we can all recall stories of other rich and famous individuals who seemed to achieve public recognition and adulation and yet they lived a life far less glamorous or enjoyable. We often make assumptions or judgements by only looking at the end product or results. It is the experiences they encounter along their journey that we generally are unaware of or misinterpret. 

On a personal level, how often have we heard people scoff at the easy life that teachers have? They only work ten months, get two months off every summer and are finished work at 3 o'clock every day. My rebuttal to those who "know" how easy teachers have it is to remind them that all they have to do to enter this dream profession is to take a simple four-year degree in education and join the good life. Strangely, no one has ever accepted the offer. 

Most people who have been successful have had to follow a path with many obstacles that had to be overcome. Their journey is not the source of envy, only the final result. Learn to practise empathy!