Over the course of our lives we make many friends and acquaintances. Sometimes we are drawn to people and sometimes others seek out our friendship. When I do a quick mental review of the many people whose company I have enjoyed, they usually possess many of the same personal attributes
Three of the most attractive characteristics displayed by the people that I like are kindness, gentleness and humility. I like people who treat others as they would wish to be treated. They usually overlook the faults of others and treat them with respect and dignity. If you are not a kind person you will probably have very few true friends.
Along with kindness, I think gentleness is a parallel trait. I don't know too many people who are not both kind and gentle at the same time. it is possible to have a gruff demeanour and still treat others kindly, but it is not the norm.
A line from the poem, Desiderata, "Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit." has always resonated with me. On many occasions I have entered a room that may be a party, social gathering or a meeting and one person's loud and forceful presence often stands out. I know that I personally tend to purposely steer a wide berth around them. I am never attracted to the boisterous or gregarious individual. I tend to find their overbearing nature and their egocentricity a definite turnoff. I do not have any friends who I would consider "loud and aggressive." I am far more attracted to humility, than vanity.
As I composed this lesson I kept getting fleeting glimpses of my own Father as I was thinking about the three qualities above that I admire. He definitely possessed all three and I am going to give him ( and my Mother) credit for instilling them in me.
A small poster I once read stated," If you have to choose between being right or being kind, choose the latter." I totally agree.
From "The Book of the Civilized Man (Urbanus Magnus), 12th C - an interesting read.
ReplyDelete"If you want to be rude to someone, take a close look at who you are, whom you are speaking to, and what their circumstances are.
A tongue lack bones, yet it breaks bones whenever it is used.
The apples you eat are all shaped by the tree from which they grow.
If fickle Fortune favours you, fortuitous one, do not mock those bereft by her.
It is a compliment when wicked people speak ill of the good.
If anyone threatens those near him with cruel misfortunes, or if someone wicked cruelly holds sway over his neighbours, kicking and clawing, and cultivating wickedness among them, stand up to thwart his evil violence alongside the neighbours.
Do not oppress anyone for sport."
Harold
The writers of the 12th Century sure had a way with words. thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThanks Ken.. That's one of the better translations..
ReplyDeleteAnother good read is the "Book of the Courtier" by Baldassare Castiglione, written inn 1588 much more interesting than "the Prince"
I liked "The Prince", I will have to give it a try!
ReplyDelete